Smooth Operator

Genre: Romantic comedy · Activity: Walking a dog · Object: Trophy

Matthew stood beneath the stop sign, improvising a warm-up routine as he stared down the street. The longer he had to justify his continued presence on the corner, the more ridiculous he felt.

At long last, the target of his anticipation came jogging into view. She wasn’t walking her husky so much as being hauled by it. The dog surged ahead of her, leash taut as it explored every new scent it encountered.

Matthew moved to intercept.

“Nice dog,” he said, falling in beside the woman.

“Thanks.”

“I’m Zane.”

“Hi Zane. I’m Amanda. The dog’s Lucy.”

At the sound of her name, the dog turned around and tried to jump up on Matthew, all eagerness and affection.

“Whoa, shit. Down. Down, Lucy!” Amanda chided.

“I’ve—I’ve seen you around.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I, uh… I’m wanting to get into jogging.”

“Well congratulations, you’ve succeeded.”

“Yeah, it’s um… yeah,” Matthew said, his confidence wilting.

“So, Zane, what do you do?”

“Oh, I’m a regional sales executive vice president at Omnihyperglobal Megacorp. Big house. Nice car. Cars. I have more than one.”

“Hm, so you’re slumming it to go jogging in this neighborhood?”

“What? No. Shit. That’s not what I—”

“Oh, so not a big shot after all?”

“No, no, I still am. I’ll have you know I once won the CEO Achievement Award,” Matthew said, fishing out his phone and flicking his finger across its surface. “Here, have a look.”

Amanda glanced at the image of a golden trophy. “They gave you a picture of an award?”

“It was back when NFTs were still a big thing.”

“It says it’s from Colink Cable and made out to Matthew Hauser.”

“Wait. Shit. Fuck. Time out, can we stop for a minute?”

Amanda came to a stop. Lucy continued to prowl in a circle at the end of her leash.

“Not doing it for you either?” asked Amanda.

“No,” Matthew admitted between ragged gasps of air, doubled over. “Not really.”

“Toby and Marissa swear by this roleplay stuff.”

“They get to do it in a bar at night. We can only do it during school hours.”

“Your pickup game is kind of shit anyway.”

“Because I don’t need it. I already won the game when I married you.”

“Awww. Maybe not so shit after all.”

Matthew ruffled the fur on Lucy’s face as she came bounding up to him. “You know, we could go home and, just, you know… have sex.”

“Are you sure? You haven’t worn yourself out with your attempts to seduce me?”

Matthew’s arm slipped around Amanda’s waist. “Babe, I will never get tired of seducing you.”

“Damn, maybe this is working after all.”

“Let’s make sure we get home before the kids do.”

“It’s like ten in the morning.”

“Yeah, and I plan on taking my time.”

“Ooh. I take back what I said about your game,” Amanda said as Lucy eagerly led the pair on their way back home.

Matthew grinned. “I told you I was a winner.”